i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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