just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
