Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize