is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
