sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
