Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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