I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
