im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
