how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
