You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
