wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
