Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
