'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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