Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
