what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
