the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
