It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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