Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You can't just leave with hair like that
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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