do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
