I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
