just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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