Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
