So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
