Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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