Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
