All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
