mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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