You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
