i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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