Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
