he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
