You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
