She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
