What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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