new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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