i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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