Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
