you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
