it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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