I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
as a side note pls kill me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
