You really coming over, don't trick.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
