we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize