I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I need to calm my uterus...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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