He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
