why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
