Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
