Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
