new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
