you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
