I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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