she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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