he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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