Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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