I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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