I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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