it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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