So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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