Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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