I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Don't tell me you're on acid again
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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