I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
