he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
