so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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