She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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