I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
