I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sarcasm needs its own font
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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