she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
