I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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